SATURDAY JOKES - 42

 

A man is madly in love with a princess and wants to propose, but an evil witch has cast a spell on him, and now he can say only one word a year.
So, he waits 14 agonizing years – accumulating all his words – before approaching his beloved. Finally, the big day arrives. When he sees her, his heart skips a beat.
He gathers his nerve, drops to his knees, and intones, "My darling, I have waited many years to say this – will you marry me?"
The princess turns around, smiles, and says, "Pardon?"

Saddam sent his son shopping to get some food.
His son came back with the food on his head.
So, Saddam says "Why have you got the shopping on your head?"
The son replies, "Because there is no Baghdad!"

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but please go and stay there?

What is a committee?
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

A couple met at Langkawi and fell in love. They were discussing how they would continue their relationship after their vacations were over.
"It's only fair to warn you, Linda," he said. "I'm a golf nut. I live...eat...sleep...and breathe golf."
"Well,..." Linda said, "Since you're being honest, so will I. You see, I'm a hooker."
"I see," he said pensively. Then, he smiled and said..."It's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2am in the morning, the wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here?" and hung up.
The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some young woman wanting to know  'if the coast is clear'.

There were these two sexy ladies and they were cleaning their house when they heard a knock at the door.
"I'll get the door." says the first lady.
She looks out the peep hole and says, "Did you order furniture?"
"No, why?" asked the other lady.
"Because there are two nuts at the door trying to shove in an organ!"

Donald MacDonald from Scotland went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements of salt herring, oatmeal and whisky).
“And how do you find the English students, Donald?” she asked.
“Mother,” he replied, “they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night.”
“Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbours?”
“Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes.”

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