Baby weight… it seems to be a hot topic when catching up with friends and family these days.

Last week a friend asked me if I have “lost the weight yet” and wanted to know “what I’m doing to help fade my c-section scar”.

I responded politely, saying I wasn’t sure if I had lost the weight yet and that my scar has not faded and I left it at that.

To be honest, since I had my baby four months ago I have only jumped on the scales once. I am in absolutely no rush to lose my “baby weight” and couldn’t care less about fading my c-section scar.

So why do people keep asking me about it? Are they insinuating that I look overweight or unhealthy?

The comments about my appearance and wellbeing started as soon as I had my baby.

At first they were “you look great” and “how’s the pain?” – but within a few weeks they quickly changed into questions about losing the weight, tightening my skin, and fading the scars and stretchmarks.

losing baby weight

Sophea, out and about with her daughter/Source: Kidspot 

This has got me wondering why people seem to be so persistent that I get back to my “pre-baby body” and are so concerned with my appearance all of a sudden.

It’s these sorts of comments – even if only meant to be harmless- that can really affect a new mum. There is already so much pressure from the pictures and advertisements on social media, the last thing I need is the people closest to me questioning my body.

All I want is to be healthy for my daughter 

My main concern has always been spending time with my beautiful girl and making sure I feel good and healthy.

I am making a conscious effort, as she grows up, to show her that life is about how you feel, not about how you look.

I want to be an example to my girl, to show her that I am happy with my body because I choose to be. That I am more concerned about looking after my physical health and mental wellbeing than my looks.

I go for walks and do my pilates because exercise gives me an amazing dose of serotonin and helps me sleep, not to look good for anyone else.

I don’t “diet” – but rather I eat a whole range of food.

losing baby weight

All a new mum needs to worry about is snuggles/Source: Kidspot

Just stop asking

We need to stop asking mums if they have “lost the weight” or are “back to normal”, because there is no weight that they have to lose and no “normal” to get back to.

This is your new normal mums; live a healthy lifestyle that suits you and embrace the body you have.

Next time someone asks me if I have “lost the weight” or “faded my scars”, I’ll respond with “I’m not trying to lose the weight or fade the scars, because they honestly doesn’t worry me. I’m learning to be comfortable in the skin I’m in.” 

I’ve never been so proud of the body I have. Thank you, baby girl for giving it to me and teaching me so much about myself.

This article was first published on KidSpot and is republished here with permission.