Instantaneous rewards for shady support

SATIRE | The caucus of the clan was in progress. It was a small yet cohesive group representing the warlords within the extended family and their cronies in their respective factions.

Everyone knew that appeasing everyone would be almost impossible but it was the chieftain’s responsibility to hold them together as a cohesive group.

If there was discord, it was the end of the partnership and their newfound power.

“In the scheme of things,” he started, “we could work out a win-win deal for everyone.

“If he or she has no place in our ruling elite, we can compensate him or her in many other ways. Everyone will leave this meeting with a smile,” he said, confidentially.

“As you are aware, our family owns several companies. Some have billion-ringgit turnovers and others do several hundred-million-ringgit in businesses.”

The chieftain then thundered the names of the companies which the family is controlling - ranging from plantations to banks, and from manufacturing to power generation. Many are listed on the local bourse.

Knowing that they would be fighting like vultures for choice appointments, he had a rejoinder: “There’s more than enough to go around and if that’s not enough, there are a few agencies under our control.

“If more is needed, we will create them, then. No one will be left out.

“For a start, I am appointing the member from the north to head our energy company.

“He used to be a meter reader with the national electricity board. His experience will be useful,” he said, looking at some startled faces.

He then talked about the future and how the east is going to control the economy of the world.

Then looking at the warlord from the east, he said: “One of your guys used to be selling unit trusts. Remember him? He’s a witness in the case of our friend with a trophy wife.

“For him to part with that kind of money as commission, he must be brilliant. So, I am appointing him to look at the family’s entire wealth.”

Everyone was eagerly awaiting more such plump positions for themselves, but to break the monotony, the chieftain filled minor positions with minions, whose names had been submitted previously.

He then turned to the man from the south. “You have been making so much noise about appointments. I am appointing you to be the chairperson of this conglomerate.

“It has interests in almost everything. It has a good management team. Don’t upset anyone. Just collect your allowance and agree to everything.”

Looking around, he asked if anyone had experience in insurance. One lady sheepishly put her hand up and said: “I sell life insurance and I am a member of the million-dollar roundtable.”

“Okay, you head our insurance company,” were the last words she heard as she took to the phone to convey her luck to her agents and clients.

As for the telco, it required someone who could help clan members control and dominate the business. At the far end of the table, the chieftain spotted a familiar face.

“Weren’t you the one involved in the fracas at the shopping centre? Weren’t you the one who helped organise a new cluster of shops to rival the ones owned by the pendatang?”

The blushes could be seen over the warlord’s face when he stood up and said: “Yes, sir.”

He was then a national hero who confronted the owners after he was caught stealing.

“You take charge of our telco. Build it up and make it number one,” the chieftain ordered.

There was no need to look far for the chairperson of the public transport company. Seated next to him was someone he knew from the old days.

Because of the infrequent bus service in the area, this man had been operating a teksi sapu service. Who knows better to provide a better system than this expert?

The man from the coastal town knows a thing or two about seafaring. He lived in a huge mansion overlooking the sea after he became unemployed after the last elections.

The chieftain cleared his throat: “Next is the position of the head of our shipping company.

“Since this man knows a thing or two about perahu, sampan, and trawlers, he is the best man for the job. You take care of our shipping company.”

He went on: “Does anyone have any expertise on palm oil?” Everyone was looking at one another.

Awkwardly, a lady said: “I know that palm oil is used in the manufacture of cosmetic products because the supplier of my products in China uses them.

“I also learnt in school that it can be used as a base for condensed milk and pharmaceuticals.”

That little information was enough for the chieftain to announce her appointment to head the oil palm company amid murmurings around the table.

They were all looking at their smartphones and one of them picked up enough courage to stand up and ask: “What about the discrepancies in the remuneration packages? How do you explain that?”

“What do you mean?” the chieftain asked.

Looking at his phone, the man curtly replied: “According to the annual report of the power generation company, the chairperson gets RM11 million a year but the allowance as head of the social security outfit is only RM40,000 a month.

“Some of the appointments come with perks like chauffeur-driven limousine and entertainment allowance while in most cases, there is nothing.”

Others were also speaking up and the meeting became chaotic and finally, the chieftain declared: “Cool down. There’s a solution to this. Do you think I did not take all these points into consideration?”

When all became silent, he provided a solution: “Simply move a resolution at the next board meeting to increase your allowances and perks. And to pacify the directors, give them a small increase, too.”

“If there are objections, just remove the dissenting directors. We can find our people to replace them.” With that, the meeting ended.

Many rushed home to tell their spouses of their newfound fame, wealth, and power.

One of them said to his wife: “Now, you no longer have to go to the stinking wet market, the driver will do it for us,” as the couple retired to the bedroom to watch a rerun of Drama Minggu Ini.

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R NADESWARAN was a member of MACC’s Advisory Panel on Prevention for one term during which the 1MDB scandal engulfed the nation. Comments: citizen.nades22@gmail.com. - Mkini

✍ Credit given to the original owner of this post : ☕ Malaysians Must Know the TRUTH

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