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To hell with ‘HLGBTs’


The recent caning of two women in Terengganu for their alleged attempt to have sexual relations has had at least one positive outcome.
No, it isn’t what state exco member in charge of syariah implementation Satiful Bahri Mamat claimed - to “educate the public on Islamic law”, neither is it to remind people not to commit illicit sex, or what he called a “cancer on society”.
The silver lining here is that it has inspired an outpouring of outrage against the persecution of people of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender and other persuasions, or, in short, LGBTs.
But I’m tempted to go further than just defending these entirely blameless LGBTs, as I and many others have done for decades.
I am here to expose, excoriate and I hope deeply offend all the other truly evil beings I’d like to call HLGBTs or even HelLGBTs.
They are the Hypocrites among all the Latents, God-botherers, Bullies and Touts who threaten the LGBTs with everything from revilement to the rotan for their own rotten purposes.
H for hypocrisy
In my humble opinion, this is what characterises many if not most of the haters hell-bent on shaming, stigmatising, criminalising or even advocating ‘curing’ those of their fellow human-beings they presume to define as sexual deviants. And these hypocrites come in many guises and disguises.
L for latents
Latents are, for example, people who know or suspect themselves to be lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, but out of fear of exposure and its possible consequences, strive to hide their true sexual orientations.
They mask their identity by hypocritically criticising and attacking others who’ve had the courage to come out of the closet.
In other words, people who ‘protest too much’ against what they purport to deplore in others for the purpose of concealing similar proclivities of their own are all too commonly latents who are blatantly lying.
G for God-botherers
This bunch, like the latents, frequently fake it too, in the hope that their displays of false piety on one issue, in this case, allegedly ‘sinful’ expressions of sexuality, blinds the rest of us to their profanity in most others.
As in the cases of Malaysia’s now - and I hope forever-defunct Umno/BN regime and its on-again-off-again partners in PAS, who apparently still persists in their delusion that the flogging, as in caning of offenders against allegedly ‘ungodly’ sexual preferences and practices, diverts our attention from the party’s flogging, as in stealing the rights, privileges, riches and even the lives of the people, faithful and infidel alike.
Of course, the most infamous examples of such God-forsaken hypocrisy were the two jailings of Anwar Ibrahim (photo) on charges of sodomy brought against him by the notoriously nation-sodomising and fraudulently sanctimonious Umno/BN regime.
But lest any reader imagine that I’m coming on anti-Islamic here, let me hasten to say that Christianity, into one of whose countless competitive sects I was born and initially indoctrinated, has hypocritically stolen far more loot and lives in the course of its God-forsaken history of unholy ‘holy’ wars, and suppressed more people of all possible nations, races, sexes and other creeds than most Muslims could possibly imagine.
From the so-called ‘crusades’ through countless pogroms and other persecutions to the rape and pillage of the Americas, Africa, Asia and Australia by Europeans in the name of Christ and his creed of peace, charity, meekness and mercy.
Not to mention, the ongoing exploitation by ‘Christian’ capitalism of pitifully-paid workers in the ‘third world’ and the physical, sexual and psychological abuse of children in their charge by some members of the clergy.
Due to such ‘religious’ hypocrisy, homo- and other allegedly divinely-disapproved sexualities have remained criminal offences until just decades ago in most ‘liberal’ Western democracies.
And it is only in the past few days that India has finally decriminalised homosexuality, which until now has been punishable by a sentence of up to 10 years in jail due to a law imposed on the hapless people of the sub-continent by their ‘Christian’ Britain colonial masters back in the 19th century.
B for bullies
Of course, these are those gutless wonders who, from the safety of superior numbers, or anonymity, or both, take out their aggression on any target they see as vulnerable by virtue of their difference from perceived norms or their membership of some minority.
And they’re as hypocritical as the previous groups I’ve identified, as they’re capable of turning from bullying the weaker to toadying to the stronger. Or, in other words, from leaping at an ‘inferior’ person’s throat one minute to throwing themselves at a superior’s feet in the next.
T for touts
Finally, we have T - as long as I’m omitting the Q and I customarily included these days, in Australia at least.
Touts are those who piously ape the anti-LGBT attitudes of rich and powerful bigots for the sake of possible profit or position, as many opportunists in right, or in other words, wrong-wing political parties do, hypocritically or otherwise.
In summary, and in short, as my allotted space here is rapidly running out, here’s to doing everything in our power to protect our family members, friends and other fellows who happen to identify sexually or gender-wise as LGBTs from the poisonous prejudices, predations and punishments so unjustly imposed on them by the HLGBTs.
And here’s to governments with the enlightened goodwill, and if necessary also the guts, to legislatively tell the HLGBTs, or, if you prefer, HelLGBTs, to be damned.

DEAN JOHNS, after many years in Asia, currently lives with his Malaysian-born wife and daughter in Sydney, where he coaches and mentors writers and authors and practises as a writing therapist. Published compilations of his Malaysiakini columns include "Mad about Malaysia", "Even Madder about Malaysia", "Missing Malaysia", "1Malaysia.con" and "Malaysia Mania”. Mkini


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