It’s a fairly stacked menu, ranging from pancakes to sandwiches to health-oriented snacks. But not all of it is worth the effort.
We’ve rounded up the menu choices and ranked them from best to worst to find out what to order and what to skip.
There’s a fair amount to choose from as part of a (maybe not so) healthy All Day Breakfast.
Here’s the ranking, starting with the bottom:
12. Sausage McMuffin
I’m really just caught wondering why this is necessary. The McMuffin needs egg. At best it’s a fake burger. The harmony of textures that makes the McMuffin great is completely thrown off here — as if Wilson Phillips had no Phillips.
11. Fruit and maple oatmeal
Sweet, mushy, heavy on fruit chunks. I can’t taste the maple distinctly; there’s just a vague sweetness throughout. The crisp apple cubes add a nice textural contrast to the glop, but this isn’t all that appetizing. It’s not “bad”, but it’s not “good”.
Assuming Goldilocks’ picky palate leans to the boring side, she’d probably choose this one.
10. Fruit and yogurt parfait
Exactly as one expects: incredibly sweet yogurt, irresolute fruit, and lackluster granola. This isn’t a good sweet, it’s a treacly, cloying sweetness that pervades every spoonful. At least there’s some crunch to the granola (also very sweet, surprise); the yogurt and fruit have the same creamy-yet-gelatinous feel.
9. Sausage and egg biscuit
The parts here are all decent: sausage, biscuit, and egg. This sandwich features a “folded egg,” as opposed to the superior whole egg that is served in the Egg McMuffin.
Yet, the whole is not greater than the sum of its parts. Something is off with this. Everything together feels too heavy, too hearty, too laden with butter and fat. It’s a big “meh”.
8. Bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit
A salty, buttery biscuit that’s fairly soft raises my hopes. The bacon is crisp, but this particular sandwich heaped all of it onto one side, leaving half of the sandwich barren and baconless. The folded egg is, as always, a let down. But as many have pointed out in the past, you can order most egg breakfast sandwiches with a McMuffin egg replacing the faux fold.
Overall, it’s… okay. It could be worse! You’ve got to be optimistic these days.
7. Sausage, egg, and cheese McMuffin
To incorrectly quote Dinah Washington, “Oh, what a difference an egg makes.”
This makes me even more curious as to why the eggless version exists. And it’s the good egg, too — discernible whites and yolk. However, the sausage doesn’t yield the same textural unison as the original’s Canadian bacon does. It’s a decent, middle-of-the-road sandwich, but the classic is much better.
6. Hash browns
Little golden tablets that follow the most important fast-food commandment: If It Be Potato, Thou Shall Fry It. The hash brown is essentially perfection — but don’t make a meal out of them, as tempting as it may be. The only reason they’re filling is because they consist entirely of starch and grease. Order them as a side, not a meal unto themselves.
5. Hotcakes and sausage
Somehow… delicious. To be fair, these scream of nostalgia for me — a McDonald’s pancake breakfast was my mom’s blatant attempt of bribing me to risk drowning every morning for summer swimming lessons. Yes, McDonald’s may or may not have been the reason I learned how to swim.
Regardless, these are surprisingly fluffier than I remember, and soak up the fake syrup remarkably well (which is a travesty, but necessary, because who carries around single servings of real maple syrup). Gone are the squealing Styrofoam boxes of ’90s yore, replaced with a more recycling conscious paper, but they don’t seem to have changed much. A forkful of syrup-logged hotcake and sausage patty is basically the closest one can get to the McGriddle. Still, an egregious amount of sugar.
4. Sausage burrito
It doesn’t look that impressive, nor does it sound it on paper. But this humble little breakfast burrito is strangely satisfying. Melty cheese cascades over chunks of sausage and egg with tiny bits of chilis and onions peppering the mix.
I’m shocked and concerned that I like this as much as I do, so let’s try and rationalize this. It’s practically full of hot cheese — that’s got to be why. Hot cheese makes virtually anything better. Plus, the little bits of chilis throw in some variety. My main problem is that no matter what you do, you still end up with a sad butt of flour tortilla with no filling. Toss that, unless you’re into that kind of thing.
3. Bacon, egg, and cheese McGriddle
As with any bacon breakfast sandwich, my gripe is this: three half slices of bacon is just not enough. Were there so much as one more slice, this sandwich might even beat the sausage variation. The salty, charred smokiness provided by the bacon is delightful against the syrupy bun. Of course, the diminished meat allows the somewhat bland egg fold to come through more, which just isn’t a good thing.
2. Egg McMuffin
There’s not much to improve upon here. The egg, of course, is the shining star — a real egg in fast-food is as rare as an original Crystal Pepsi bottle. It’s an incredibly savory sandwich, rich with salty pork and cheese. But the real theme here is texture: the chewy, crusty English muffin; the firm slice of Canadian bacon; the smooth, light egg; the velvety and comfortingly fake American cheese.
1. Sausage, egg, and cheese McGriddle
At this point, my position on the McGriddle is obvious. I love it, adore it, and eat it far more often than I let on to my physician. The sausage variety is by far the best of the two — it’s sweet, it’s salty, it’s savory, it’s rich. There is nothing on this menu that can compare to the divine combination of peppery, fatty sausage, smooth cheese, and sweet, maple McGriddle buns. And yes, the egg is essential, even if it is the mediocre egg-fold. Just order it with a McMuffin egg instead, and you’re on a whole new level. You’re welcome.
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