A psychologist explains why self-esteem is a sham and can get in the way of your success
Psychologist and author of “Insight” Tasha Eurich shares why self-esteem is not such a great thing for achieving success. The following is a transcript of the video.
So why is self-esteem a sham? And why might high self-esteem actually get in the way of your success?
You’re probably even hearing that question and wondering, “How could that be?” Most of us, who have been born between 1950 and now, have grown up in a world where self-esteem is a prized and valued quality. It’s the idea that we are good enough, smart enough, and doggone it people like us.
However, the research on this has been very interesting in terms of how it actually impacts our success and our behavior. People who have high self-esteem, regardless of their objective level of performance, tend to be less successful in life. Now, there’s a different way to look at self-esteem and that is as a result of excellent performance.
So instead of puffing yourself up and saying, “You’re great and you’re perfect,” and that should help you be successful, what’s even better is to work hard to be successful, to see those improvements and those successes, and use that as a way to drive you positively in the future.
So another way I like to think about the self-esteem idea is instead thinking about self-acceptance. And what self-acceptance means is I see myself clearly. I see the good, I see the bad, and I might even see the ugly, but in spite of that knowledge I appreciate who I am. I know that I’m in charge and in control of what I want to work on and I like the person that I am. So self-esteem vs. self-acceptance is another very small change that can have a big impact.
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