Sorry, casual fans, but Captain Spip of the 'Biowhale Deep Space' series is NOT a woman

SIGH. Here we go again. I feel like everywhere I turn I'm hearing the question we've all heard since the early 2000s: "Should the new Captain Spip be a woman?"

Let me explain: no, he shouldn’t. Case closed!

That's why when I, a red-blooded male, saw a news alert yesterday that Judy Dench will be the voice of Captain Spip in the new season of Biowhale Deep Space, I ripped my shirt off in the grocery store and screamed as loud as I could for 10 straight minutes.

SEE ALSO: I have drawn the Trump administration as Sonic the Hedgehog and I am ready to answer for it

Captain Spip is many things: a cunning negotiator, a brilliant space detective, a CGI whale head on a human body that solves crimes on a low end British cable network. What he is NOT is a GIRL. Read more...

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